Attended cousin brother’s marriage at Mumbai, it was a nice experience to get a feel of Mumbai City. Did checkout some lovely views of green stuff, waters and birds when glimpsing outside from the one day travelling train door. One nice thing about the train was this airy option of glimpsing scenes from train door, there was fresh wind with rains here and there and lovely sceneries of birds, trees, mountains and water falls and thrilling tunnels. Otherwise don’t prefer this long train travel mostly coz it’s difficult sitting or sleeping for so long and toilets, ewww, don’t like using train toilets, but I survived very well. I could relax in the train as well, sleeping and I even got to read a book I was wanting to read for quite sometime as I had it with me for years having brought it from a book stall on the road, it was ‘How to get from where you are to where you want to be’ by Jack Canfield who is also the author of Chicken Soup for soul. I am hoping I would read it fully and get insights on life, its a very motivating book to form dreams and work to achieve them.
This write up is about the vows of marriage as explained by the priest according to the marriage scripture. I had written something similar last year after attending a dear brother friend’s christian marriage, you can read about it here- https://mintymile.wordpress.com/2016/09/01/all-the-cs-and-the-showers-of-blessings-at-a-wedding/
These are values and principles that is like a guide for leading a meaningful married life.
In my cousin’s marriage, the priest translated the meaning of mantra’s into english, there were other delightful things for guests with servers roaming around with delicious cups of rasum and some mini tiffin snacks as the marriage ceremony was on.
Now getting into the context, the to be weds are like Vishnu and Lakhmi, it’s sort of romantic to imagine god’s like this(no offence). So Vishnu is taking Laksmi’s hand and in the ceremony he asks permission to all of Laksmi’s family members for her hand (no doubth it must have looked very beautiful to him). The couple get blessings from everyone, elders and people of similar and younger ages. The pujari tells the couple who are like Vishnu and Laksmi the following –
Be Alert
This may mean “be present or at the movement”, quite essential. One needs to sense the “partner’s soul mood” , the nag to sense if something is amiss without even the other communicating. It’s not just noticing body language but just knowing something is not right or different in the partner. You may call it understanding, friendship, companionship, just be alert and aware, it makes a big difference.
2) Never let any one come in between you and your partner
There is bound to be stress, distractions, interference but whatever it is the bond between the wedded couple is sacred and cannot be explained in words. Let nothing tear the bond away, the rest of the world from now on is at a distance, the nearest world for the wedded is themselves especially since they are going to live for life together and start a family, better trust each other or work towards it with understanding and respect.
3) New life chapter and journey, forget the past
The past is behind and it does not matter now. The pujas purify the whole couple and their families(I hope it even did those who attended it), so be alert and live from now on, never take a step which would ruin marriage, it’s the responsibility of the married couple to see to that.
4) Accept each other.
You actually said you accept the other when holding the hand of your beloved(or future beloved) in marriage. You get the person as they are and hopefully won’t find faults on the other and hurt them, no one is perfect. In future, people change, grow but let them be happy with themselves as they are. Also be patient, loving, supportive, this is the best approach to get the best out of your counterpart.
5) Take on household chores
Well, traditionally Lakshmi of the home takes care of the house which forever would hold true, especially of the kitchen. However, the man too have to help in it, because the household is run by 2 people. Also think about it, cooking alone or cleaning, or arranging home alone would be boring, do it together it can be more fun and gives a opportunity to spend time together in setting your own house. It’s basic na, you need to set a home you love, set the tone and energy to it, it sets up positive vibes for sure. Pay more attention to set up your home together, it’s your shelter at all times together.
6) Fulfill and satisfy each other
Not just physically, in body but in all aspects one must endeavour to complete each other. It requires understanding and letting the other be comfortable with themselves as we have accepted them when we married them. Two people have their individualities, likes, passions, dreams, we must try to satisfy the individual along with their basic needs because they are simply beautiful and best that way. In every possible aspect the two have to satisfy each other and complete them.
7) Be the bridge to each other’s original family
The two have held their hand and gone aside to form a separate unit, still when in need the couple have to support each other’s family and be a bridge between the families. One should never forget our roots, once we do, somehow we get confused and lose moral sanity, so keeping touch with immediate family is essential. It’s also true that we are indebted to care for our family as a duty as they have done so much for us all our lives. Love from parents for adult kids is really special, same for our dear siblings who know us so well right from childhood.
8) Respect basic family by-laws.
It could be pujas, rituals and functions, you don’t want to do, if there is a sacred bye law of the family learn about it and see how you can fulfill it.
9) Honeymoon promise
Marriage is done, many obviously would go for honeymoon. However, make this promise, you leave something behind as you go for the honeymoon. Guess, what you would leave…
Ego. Please lease that ego now, high time.
This was all I remember from the vows of marriage explained by the priest…they were some more
points but this was all I took note of. I did personally go to the pandit and told him he did pre-marital marriage refresher course session and appreciated it. Every couple who is getting married should hold hand and attend a session like this, if it’s pre-marital counselling session too it should be exciting at that point of time atleast, else marriage would be a boring, routine, stressful process which both emotionally are unprepared for.
Wait, this is not all. Special wisdom from a uncleji on horoscope. Should we look into a horoscope match for a marriage be successful?
Marriage is definitely a challenge, it’s complicated there would be so many issues that no one would disclose to others – physical incompatibilities, child bearing problems and living together can be stressful too. However, is horescope mismatch the reason for the problems of this sort?
Honestly, true for all we don’t see the person for what they are , we see finances, job etc which is practical and is a personal prerogative. However, we must try to see the person – the persona, character, heart and stuff like that and it is basic, rest comes afterwards. Even, species does not matter, you marry foreigner great, marry any one from another religion fine. However, the couple have to like each other enough to bend down to understand and accept the other and work towards a life they would make for themselves together. Difficulties would creep but both have to have that spirit to face it.
The negatives in horoscope is that in many cases calculation and computation is wrong, it is at times tweaked to match things, these days it’s all a business and many times it is used as an excuse to reject the alliance and stuff. More than horescope, just follow the principles to be a good person, a good partner and such things, it’s more fruirtful. It’s again a personal prerogative. Also please try to get married in a eco-friendly way(:…anyone’s horoscope with good earth matches if one does ceremonies in environmentally-friendly way.
Another vows of marriage article – https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/dating-decisions/201401/ten-research-based-wedding-vows
mintymile 